But rest assured, please do disregard my odd use of words. Vivian and I are not actually so strict with each other at all--in fact, she'd probably be quite offended by such an idea! So this will have to be another thing you didn't actually hear from me, oh my.
Honestly, the balance yourself and your sister seem to maintain is probably the much more natural kind to have. How greatly you must trust her, that you'd leave her entirely to her devices in faith that she'll never wander too astray. How greatly she must trust you, that she can safely leave most business in your hands and know she'd find support if she ever needs it. Why, it'd be enough to make just about anyone envious!
But, would it be right to assume that Belle is a special case? Have you ever found anyone else you could trust in quite such a way?
[ wise does kind of hesitate before answering, firstly because he's not sure if he should answer at all, and secondly because he can't anticipate where this question is going. he thought maybe it was turning into hugo seeking some sort of advice about vivian, which is why he volunteered the information about belle so freely. but...
... ]
There probably isn't anyone else I can trust like that, no.
But I'll freely admit I'm not the most... well-adjusted. In that regard.
I see. So this, too, can be the sort of tie only family can have...
That's a pretty surprising sort of thing for someone like you to so freely admit, though. You strike such a very well-adjusted impression on an outward level, after all! Or maybe it's that everyone just has certain acts they're very good at?
[...]
Well, this is probably about to be a very prying question indeed, but now the thought can't help but occur. Have you ever thought, about what you'd do, if ever there came a time where you part ways?
I feel as if Vivian would be prepared for such a scenario, at least. Though, if it were ever to be the other way around...I still wonder if I would be myself. If I could weather it again.
[ he does, actually. he minds them very much. but somehow, at this point, it feels like hugo has asked him so many questions that he's just gotten used to it. ]
I've thought about it before, yeah. I think it's possible. There are just... some principles that we each can't compromise on. And for now we're in sync, but if that ever changes... I do think it's possible that we might part ways someday.
But that's what makes all the time we have together now so precious.
...When I think about it that way, even though I kind of already know I spoil her, I can't help but want to spoil her even more.
[just as a river ever so gradually wears the edges off a stone...or maybe, it's something not quite that naturally poetic. something rather more troublesome. the persistent serenading nuisance at the window finally getting a response, perhaps, following night after night of little taps on the glass and strange songs ceaselessly offered. not like the pattern's terribly subtle either, is it? when the conversations always start out so lighthearted, and yet somehow end up...
well. like this.
lycaon would call it a rather gauche fixation on tragedy, yet another of hugo's numerous bad habits--something he just can't help but pick at and dig into every time it snags upon his attention, whether said tragedy is his own or...potentially, somebody else's. but it's not as if there aren't other factors at play this moment too. not as if it isn't almost a little alarmingly relatable. the tender matter of a beloved sibling...and this particular perspective wise lays down now. which is--]
So, even as the future carries such a possibility just a bit too tangible...you'd still keep your focus on the present, and all the ways in which it can be cherished to the fullest. Is that right?
[what a very deliberate sort of answer. an answer that chooses not to yet confront that hypothetical future at all. whether wise has truly resolved to set it aside, or simply won't delve in it here with hugo specifically...well, either way, there's something to respect in that. even if hugo finds it a sort of perspective very difficult to imagine.
because surely wise remains fully aware, of the line of work both he and his sister currently court. the dangerous world phaethon seems intent on prying ever deeper into, whatever the reason might be. the worst-case scenario grows ever more likely the further one progresses, and there comes a point where one should start planning for such painful possibilities. yet...]
What an interesting view of it. Maybe it's that I'm a rather pessimistic person myself...yours isn't the first answer that would occur to me at all. Might not be such a bad state of mind to exercise in its own ways, though...
[and maybe it's not something he has a place to criticize right now. ha.]
To spoil her now while you still can, huh? Hmm. By this sort of philosophy...do you suppose maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea, to train up a second cute bird for Vivian after all? Not as a debt, but as a surprise instead--could that be a sort of spoiling as well? Too much, not enough?
[ what if not one cute round birb... but two cute round birbs... this is an easy question to answer!! ]
That would be cute! Just think about how delighted she'll be! And it means that Mr. Canary can have a friend, and it's really not that much more difficult than just taking care of the one.
I'd say you should try it.
[ that being said — because wise is always analytical even when he's pretending not to be, and because he, himself, is not above probing, from time to time — ]
But what's your answer, Hugo?
To the question that you yourself asked.
If there came a day that you and Vivian needed to be separated...
Well now, with logic like this, and such a firm stamp of approval, it sure doesn't seem like an idea that could go astray. Mr. Canary may well have a playmate in the future indeed, then...do look forward to yet another adorably round bird making some deliveries eventually...
[and from there, because apparently neither of them can actually resist making this the most tonally dissonant conversation possible--]
[yet another longer pause. long enough that one might start to wonder if hugo's opting to end the conversation right there after all.
...but at length. (because fair's fair, in the end,)]
If there came a day where Vivian and I were separated, it would mean that Mockingbird reduces once more to a singular member. And so long as I draw breath, I will have to persist, because it too must persist. Mockingbird's work is never truly finished. Though it would be very painful.
Still, my hope is that I will at least do better, than I did in times past.
That I will grieve the way I should have grieved.
That I will rectify the cause, in the exact way that it should be rectified.
[ wise indeed waits, very patiently, for his response. he does think, for a moment, that hugo may have just moved on or refused to answer his question turned back against him, which honestly would have been fair. (wise does not adhere to equality in all relationships, really; he doesn't consider it particularly unfair to refuse to answer a question he himself has asked.) and when the response comes in, well, he does find himself quite relieved... ]
Oh... that's good, actually.
I was a little worried, see, that you'd say you might wind up dead...
Because I'd probably have understood, but,
you know, again, not the most well-adjusted...
[ what is the tone of this conversation?????? ]
I don't think you're very pessimistic at all, Hugo.
Oh, no, quite rest assured! I am long since at a point in this life where the only thing killing me is a sworn enemy having a particularly college try at it. (Which is likely.) Or, old age gracefully dropping the curtain for me. (Rather less likely, being realistic.)
In all other matters, no matter how horrific, nothing nearly sufficient enough can be done if you're a corpse.
[extremely normal conversation for two extremely normal guys to be having............but also it must be noted, that despite being a habitual liar, this little tidbit here is 100% honest. if anything, it's a mentality hugo's determined is especially vital to keep around vivian in particular, since she herself was once......well. let's just say. among the members of mockingbird, the one with an actual past record nearer that point would be...
uh, anyway. anyway???]
So, it is admittedly ever so slightly concerning, that you're bringing up your lack of adjustment in this vein again! But I'll not press.
Besides, assuming fortune favors Phaethon awhile yet. There is still time for fortifications, yes? If you're so inclined to them.
[whatever...that means.....or whatever wise wants it to mean. so to speak. hm.]
Anyway, while the sentiment is appreciated, you speak far too kindly for me. Perhaps it's not as pessimistic as it could be, but I do believe my own mindset counts as more of a..."bare minimum", level of "healthiness"? In the world of the psychological.
Regardless, not sure if pursuing this tangent is going to be more fun than round birds, you know? [like......somebody has to say it here,]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
2/2
Honestly, the balance yourself and your sister seem to maintain is probably the much more natural kind to have. How greatly you must trust her, that you'd leave her entirely to her devices in faith that she'll never wander too astray. How greatly she must trust you, that she can safely leave most business in your hands and know she'd find support if she ever needs it. Why, it'd be enough to make just about anyone envious!
But, would it be right to assume that Belle is a special case? Have you ever found anyone else you could trust in quite such a way?
no subject
... ]
There probably isn't anyone else I can trust like that, no.
But I'll freely admit I'm not the most... well-adjusted. In that regard.
no subject
That's a pretty surprising sort of thing for someone like you to so freely admit, though. You strike such a very well-adjusted impression on an outward level, after all! Or maybe it's that everyone just has certain acts they're very good at?
[...]
Well, this is probably about to be a very prying question indeed, but now the thought can't help but occur. Have you ever thought, about what you'd do, if ever there came a time where you part ways?
I feel as if Vivian would be prepared for such a scenario, at least. Though, if it were ever to be the other way around...I still wonder if I would be myself. If I could weather it again.
no subject
[ he does, actually. he minds them very much. but somehow, at this point, it feels like hugo has asked him so many questions that he's just gotten used to it. ]
I've thought about it before, yeah. I think it's possible. There are just... some principles that we each can't compromise on. And for now we're in sync, but if that ever changes... I do think it's possible that we might part ways someday.
But that's what makes all the time we have together now so precious.
...When I think about it that way, even though I kind of already know I spoil her, I can't help but want to spoil her even more.
no subject
well. like this.
lycaon would call it a rather gauche fixation on tragedy, yet another of hugo's numerous bad habits--something he just can't help but pick at and dig into every time it snags upon his attention, whether said tragedy is his own or...potentially, somebody else's. but it's not as if there aren't other factors at play this moment too. not as if it isn't almost a little alarmingly relatable. the tender matter of a beloved sibling...and this particular perspective wise lays down now. which is--]
So, even as the future carries such a possibility just a bit too tangible...you'd still keep your focus on the present, and all the ways in which it can be cherished to the fullest. Is that right?
[what a very deliberate sort of answer. an answer that chooses not to yet confront that hypothetical future at all. whether wise has truly resolved to set it aside, or simply won't delve in it here with hugo specifically...well, either way, there's something to respect in that. even if hugo finds it a sort of perspective very difficult to imagine.
because surely wise remains fully aware, of the line of work both he and his sister currently court. the dangerous world phaethon seems intent on prying ever deeper into, whatever the reason might be. the worst-case scenario grows ever more likely the further one progresses, and there comes a point where one should start planning for such painful possibilities. yet...]
What an interesting view of it. Maybe it's that I'm a rather pessimistic person myself...yours isn't the first answer that would occur to me at all. Might not be such a bad state of mind to exercise in its own ways, though...
[and maybe it's not something he has a place to criticize right now. ha.]
To spoil her now while you still can, huh? Hmm. By this sort of philosophy...do you suppose maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea, to train up a second cute bird for Vivian after all? Not as a debt, but as a surprise instead--could that be a sort of spoiling as well? Too much, not enough?
no subject
That would be cute! Just think about how delighted she'll be! And it means that Mr. Canary can have a friend, and it's really not that much more difficult than just taking care of the one.
I'd say you should try it.
[ that being said — because wise is always analytical even when he's pretending not to be, and because he, himself, is not above probing, from time to time — ]
But what's your answer, Hugo?
To the question that you yourself asked.
If there came a day that you and Vivian needed to be separated...
1/3..........
[and from there, because apparently neither of them can actually resist making this the most tonally dissonant conversation possible--]
no subject
...but at length. (because fair's fair, in the end,)]
If there came a day where Vivian and I were separated, it would mean that Mockingbird reduces once more to a singular member. And so long as I draw breath, I will have to persist, because it too must persist. Mockingbird's work is never truly finished. Though it would be very painful.
Still, my hope is that I will at least do better, than I did in times past.
That I will grieve the way I should have grieved.
That I will rectify the cause, in the exact way that it should be rectified.
And that I will not forget her face, this time.
no subject
Ha, see. A little pessimistic!
no subject
Oh... that's good, actually.
I was a little worried, see, that you'd say you might wind up dead...
Because I'd probably have understood, but,
you know, again, not the most well-adjusted...
[ what is the tone of this conversation?????? ]
I don't think you're very pessimistic at all, Hugo.
no subject
In all other matters, no matter how horrific, nothing nearly sufficient enough can be done if you're a corpse.
[extremely normal conversation for two extremely normal guys to be having............but also it must be noted, that despite being a habitual liar, this little tidbit here is 100% honest. if anything, it's a mentality hugo's determined is especially vital to keep around vivian in particular, since she herself was once......well. let's just say. among the members of mockingbird, the one with an actual past record nearer that point would be...
uh, anyway. anyway???]
So, it is admittedly ever so slightly concerning, that you're bringing up your lack of adjustment in this vein again! But I'll not press.
Besides, assuming fortune favors Phaethon awhile yet. There is still time for fortifications, yes? If you're so inclined to them.
[whatever...that means.....or whatever wise wants it to mean. so to speak. hm.]
Anyway, while the sentiment is appreciated, you speak far too kindly for me. Perhaps it's not as pessimistic as it could be, but I do believe my own mindset counts as more of a..."bare minimum", level of "healthiness"? In the world of the psychological.
Regardless, not sure if pursuing this tangent is going to be more fun than round birds, you know? [like......somebody has to say it here,]
no subject
I think you should give them names.
Dramatic ones. Like... Maximilien, or Isidore.